4/12/25: i want nothing to do with AI. i will never use AI chord generators in my songs, i will never use AI generated vocals in my songs (YOUTUBE PLEASE I DONT WANT TO SEE THAT), and i will never EVER use AI generated art.
4/12/25 #2: i'm really nervous about my debut show on the 26th. i feel like i can't get anything done. my room is a mess too so i feel like i can't take the time to practice anything. i feel like by the time the show is supposed to happen, i will have nothing done.
4/14/25: 12 days until the show. still nervous. i'll try to get things in order.
4/14/25 #2: lately i've been deep in thought. thinking about my life and my situation and other things like that have been hurting me. i can safely say this started about 6 days ago, maybe more or less. i don't know how to pick myself up and i'm scared that i'll stay this way and eventually get myself in trouble or lose friends. it's an intense feeling of loneliness that's been building up like a snowball that just hit me (again). i physically and mentally can't stand being alone anymore. i need some friends. somebody. something. anything as long as it can comfort me. but the way i'm living right now, nothing is comfortable. i feel deeply, truly, alone.
4/15/25: it's 3AM right now. i didn't get anything done yesterday, or the day before that, maybe even the day before that. i'm eventually going to pick myself up, because i know there's no easy bail out of this show. i have to do something. if it works better i'll cut my set in half, i don't know. i was planning on a cover song but i don't think i can cram that much into one little forgettable set, along with the other weird gags i had planned.
4/15/25 #2: i woke up feeling motivated, and i crushed through almost my whole set. i did pretty good for someone who was insanely dehydrated and hadn't eaten. another topic on my mind is the number 210. i believe it has a personal connection to me. i have been seeing it routinely for the past 2 weeks or so, i cant remember. after practicing today, i walked out of my room and saw the time was 2:10PM. it seems that 2:10PM is a time i often come out, either coincidence or something more. i just find it strange that i see this number more than any other.
4/17/25: i PARTIALLY take back what i said about AI. i used it as a TOOL to do something i would have NEVER BEEN ABLE TO DO BEFORE (thats how it should be used. people can always learn songwriting or art). it's about my first album, blurry driving. using FL Studio's built in track seperator, i got a pretty damn good stereo mix from one of the blurry driving songs!
4/18/25: i have an idea for a music video. let me break it down.
here's the cool video that made me think about doing something cool and unique like this! https://youtu.be/TOWWYMqLEHI